MuddyMaggs

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Carry On

on May 15, 2012

So….. I’m lacking in posts here. I know. But, I’ve had a lot going on in my life. I moved home from college for the summer. I’ve been home a week and a half. I love being home, love the break from school, and love being only 10 minutes away from my best friend (though I feel like I miss him more when I’m home but not with him than when I’m in Kentucky! Does that make sense?!). But, being home and constantly around my family is not enjoyable. It only took 4 days for me and mom to have our first fight (surprising, since I ran out of meds the day after I loved home and my doctor didn’t call in another refill). And in the week since then, I feel like all we’ve done is fight. Our latest fight was today, they were all criticizing and making fun of me because I did my best to cook stuff today, and some of it went a little of course. I’ve never cooked a steak before, and I think for my first attempt it came out fine. Yeah, its not how we usually have it but it was my first try ever! Nope, I still have yet to hear the end of how I fucked it up. You know what family? I tore a muscle in my arm. I’m in a sling. But I am still cooking you dinner because I know that Mom and Dad both had long days at work and Mom can’t do anything because of her foot. So don’t fucking criticize me because the streak is a little more done than normal, or dinner was later than usual, or the dishwasher wasn’t unstuffed. Seriously, I’m doing my best and it kills that you can’t/don’t/refuse to see that, whatever your reason is. And the cookies. Oh dear GOD the cookies. I made cookies this afternoon, because I felt like baking something and I knew that having some cookies around would be nice so I would stop being tempted to eat mom’s chocolate. Nope. “These aren’t cooked enough” “Ew these are burnt” “These taste burnt but they’re not cooked in the middle” WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!? They’re not even your cookies!!!!!!!! I didn’t make them for you! You don’t like them, then don’t eat them! Its not rocket science!! I feel like it doesn’t matter what I do, I’m going to get criticized. I’m getting discouraged from anything. Seriously, its all I can do to keep myself from just leaving. Staying with a friend, not dealing with them for awhile. Yeah, that’d be great.

 

On a happy note…. Guess who will be living in the hills for 6 weeks this summer?! This girl 🙂 Yupp- I got the job at camp!!!!! 13 years of hard work, wishing, and wanting, and its finally happening. I first saw a post on Facebook from a friend of mine from camp about her getting a job, and I hadn’t been contacted. I fought to hold back tears at that moment, but I managed to stay level headed enough to think to check my email before legitimately freaking out. And its a good thing I did, because there was an email from the director with all my papers for employment!!! I screamed, Polly screamed, everyone in my house was kinda freaking out lol.  I finally to do the one thing that no matter what has always been a goal, something stable and consistent in my life. And most of my loves from camp also got hired so this summer is going to rock 😀

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