MuddyMaggs

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Jacquelineisms

Shit Jacqueline Says.

Nope. I lost them in the war. Nam. The Nam war.

Are you playful?
No, I bite children’s faces.

I touched a tarantula’s butt once…

I burped today……….. it smelled like pizza.

I’m going to rape you with a rrrrape.

She’s not dead!
She said her mom! Not her dead mom!

Pro wrestling is like gay porn.

Prince Charming is a serial rapist.

I’m white
You’re peach!
Just because you call yourself beige doesn’t mean I’m peach!

That confuses ME… and I’m not even you!

You have yummy things under your bed…. like children. and pizza.

I’m going to fuck you. In the mouth. With a knife. In a closet.

Do you wanna go to bed?
I don’t care. Your room, you decide.
Skydiving.

Do you want to come with me?
To the bathroom to watch you shave your legs? No, that is not worth taking a break from my paper for.

I wanted to see your smiling face… that is not the face i was picturing.

Its like a hearse! …..in your bed.

Don’t eff hoes!

“Its not a suicide bomber. Its not an arabis ferret.” – Sinda
“Heyyyy” – Jacqueline
“My bad. Its not a muslim ferret”

“Let me sing you a song… LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Ok I’m done.”

“He gets more ass than a pair of skinny jeans”

“He gets more head than shampoo”

“Whats on your face? ..Sperm?”
“Yes, because sperm is blue now…”

“Who’s sperm is it anyway?”
“Mine” – Jacqueline.

“I’m sad. My dog won’t talk to me. He’s mean sometimes.”

“I’m cold because the toilet seat was freezing.”

“Things you shouldn’t do while golfing.”
“Tiger Woods”

“Wait, you kiss blog black guys’ boobs?”

“I got balls, but they’re little raisin balls.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: